I was 16. And my boyfriend and I, we made a mistake. I got pregnant. I didn't know... I didn't know what to do. I had no idea.
I was 42 and the doctor said the risk of having an abnormal baby was very high for women my age.
I was 20 when I found out I was pregnant and I wasn't married. With the pressure of school and the fact that my parents didn't even want me to keep the baby, I wasn't left with many choices.
I was raped when I was 18 and I became pregnant. I didn't know what I was going to do. But I knew I had a big decision to make.
I was 28, married and pregnant, but my husband was not the father. I didn't want to lose my husband. What could I do?
We were both 22, married and in college. Can you imagine? There wasn't any time, and there definitely wasn't any money to have a child. We had to make a decision.
I was 31. We already had four kids. We just could not afford another child.
I was only 15 when I was raped by a close family member. My family didn't want the embarrassment.
Choices. We make thousands of them every day. We decide what we're going to wear. We decide where we're going to go. We decide what we're going to eat. If we're going to call or send a text. Some of the choices that we make are trivial and carry insignificant consequences. After all, it's really not that big of a deal if we decide to wear blue socks or white ones. Other choices, however, are far more important. And they carry lifelong consequences.
If you're watching this program, the chances are that you or someone that you love is struggling with an unplanned pregnancy and trying to decide what to do in that case. Or, it could be that you're just thinking of the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy. In either case, there are three available options:
First, you could give birth and raise the child. This option means that you will invest a lot of time and money into your child's life. It means that you'll be responsible for the welfare of your child and for taking care of that child's needs. But, it also means that you'll receive the benefit of rewards that can only be enjoyed by a parent.
Secondly, you could give birth to your child and allow your child to be adopted. The potential difficulties of carrying a child to term are something to be considered. But this option allows the child to be born and to be part of a family. It also allows that child's life to bring unspeakable joy into the lives of his or her adoptive parents.
The third option is that you could have your child aborted. Having an abortion means that your child will die. If you choose an abortion it does mean that you won't have to go through the birthing process. You won't have to take care of your child for the next eighteen years, and be responsible for his or her welfare. But there are some serious physical, emotional, and spiritual consequences that are tied to abortion.
This material has been designed to explore both the challenges and benefits of these three choices in order to help you make an informed decision.
We knew that life was going to be extremely challenging for a while. But, after thinking about the blessing of our other children, how could we think of doing anything else? We are now a happy family of seven.
My husband and I decided to take the risk, regardless of the outcome. Because we knew in our hearts it was the right thing to do. And we're glad we did.
It was a hard decision. But, with or without my boyfriend I felt that MY baby deserved life.
It's been said that children are a priceless gift to society. And Sophocles, the famous playwrite from ancient Athens once declared that "Children are the anchors that hold a mother to life." In truth, there is nothing that compares to the love of a child.
Holding a newborn baby in your arms for the first time and realizing you brought this precious gift into the world, has to be one of the greatest feelings that you could ever have. To know that this tiny child is yours to have, hold, and nurture, it's awesome. But, it can be scarey at the same time.
When you bring a child into the world, its helpless little life depends on you for everything... for food, clothing, shelter, as well as for security. So whenever you meet each need of that child, that strong bond that you share grows stronger. And there is no substitute for that.
Raising a child isn't easy. The feedings, the diaper changes, there's a constant need for my attention. And sleep can be rare.
I've learned that it's important for me not only to be around, but to help in whatever ways that I can. We both played a part in bringing our baby into this world and we both have to play a part in caring for her. No matter how tough it can be at times. Yes, we know that these challenges are only temporary. But the loving relationships that are being formed, they make it worth all the effort.
You will quickly learn, as Richard Evans once said, "Children will not remember you for the material things you provided, but for the feeling that you cherished them."
Let me be perfectly honest with you. Raising children is not easy. It can be very frustrating at times. You're tired and you just want to relax. There's a lot of responsibility. And you are the one who has to do it. But, that being said, I wouldn't change a thing. My life would be so boring and empty without my children. I just, I wouldn't change a thing.
Children truly are the anchors that hold mothers to life.
What happened to me was wrong. I mean, I really felt violated. But to dispose of the child growing inside of me, that would have been just as wrong. It wasn't the child's fault. I knew I couldn't keep him. So, I gave him up to a family who could give him the type of love that he really deserved.
I never thought that I would end up pregnant. And it's hard making it in this world without a degree, especially when your parents are willing to pay for your college. So, we sat down and we decided it was best to give the baby up for adoption.
We were still in college and knew that our baby would need a lot of love and attention in the early years, so we thought it best to find a couple who could provide that type of nurturing environment for her. And, now she's with a good family.
Experts estimate that there are two million couples around the world who are trying to adopt children every year. And that means that each year about 250 thousand children are actually adopted. Which in turn means that every single day about 685 children find a place they can call home. Some mothers may simply not be in a position to raise a child. A mother may feel that she lacks the necessary knowledge, experience, financial resources, or support to provide for her child's needs. What's a mother to do in circumstances like these?
One option is to give birth and allow that child to be adopted. In doing so, the mother chooses to give her child life.
In mothers who are willing to bear children and give them up for adoption, they bring a great, great blessing to those families who struggle with infertility and inability to conceive.
A woman bearing a child and allowing that child to be given up for adoption to a family that has most likely been praying endlessly and trying very diligently to adopt a baby is a tremendous blessing. And the birth mother can know that while she will not get to experience the joy of motherhood, she will be giving that indescribable gift to someone else.
Life is full of choices, some easy and some hard. Some that we will cherish and some that we will live to regret. I chose my life over my baby's life and that torments me every day.
My family said if I had the baby, it would embarrass all of us. It was what THEY wanted so they drove me to the clinic and they took the baby. But, you know... I still think about the baby.
Abortionists would have you believe that this procedure is a safe, easy measure for the purpose of removing tissue from the womb. Such descriptions are offered in an attempt to minimize the physical dangers of abortion, to help the patient feel more at ease.
The potential physical consequences of having an abortion are blood loss, infection, and an increased chance of miscarriage if a girl later on decides she wants to become pregnant and bear a child. So, those are the immediate surgical risks. And the medical risks that are involved in that, we have small instances of infertility resulting because of cicatricial scarring that occurs inside the uterus once an oblation or suction or curettage abortion is performed. So, sterility, infection, blood loss are very definite, immediate issues that have to be dealt with. Statistically they're not very high, to be perfectly honest. But, in any given individual, if that occurs then the statistics are a hundred percent, you know. So, it is still a risky procedure, especially in late term abortions, you know. When you get past the second trimester pregnancy you're looking at a significant surgical risk there.
A very important point to remember is that while the occurrence of these risks may not be significantly high, there is still the potential for them to occur as a result of any abortion and should not be taken lightly. Consequently, some of the risks have proven to be fatal.
People talk about coming in and doing it on an outpatient basis, no matter how you look at it abortion is a surgery. Anytime you have surgery, surgery has with it risk and complications. Complications can be minimal. There can just be a little extra bleeding. Women have died from an abortion. No doubt about it. They can get infected, they can bleed to death, they can have complications such as bowel or bladder injury. Things that can potentially lead on to more significant surgeries than the initial "just going in to have a simple procedure done."
That is exactly what happened to 25-year-old Diana Lopez in Los Angeles, California. In a 2003 article, the Sacramento Bee reported that she bled to death after her cervix was punctured during an abortion.
As to the question of pain in this procedure abortionists would have you believe that it is relatively nonexistent. But take into account the words of these women who offer details of their abortion experience. In the book, Aborted Women Silent No More by Dr. David Readen, Carol St. Amour is quoted as saying: It just so happens that she later died of cervical cancer which women have a significantly increased risk of getting following an abortion.
Judith Evans reported that it felt like her uterus was nearly turned inside out from the strength of the suction machine used during her abortion. As a result, she had to have an early hysterectomy.
There is another option that is available to an expectant mother. She could choose to abort the child that is growing In her womb. As with the other two options, this option does carry with it some potential benefits. Such as not having to endure the challenges and inconveniences associated with carrying a child to term such as weight gain, fatigue, hormonal imbalance. Not having to experience the pain of child birth. Not having the financial burden of providing for a child's needs. The expectant mother would not have to sacrifice her educational and vocational aspirations. Or miss out on various social functions. However, what seems to be a quick solution carries with it some very serious consequences.
You see, the choice to abort a child or to save a child's life may be one of the most important decisions a mother will ever make. For her own physical, emotional and spiritual well-being, as well as for the well-being of the life of the unborn child. Unfortunately, the truth about abortion is rarely told.
Many women are told that abortion is a relatively simple process... just the removal of some tissue from the uterus... doesn't have very many lasting side effects. They're not told that the pressure that's put upon them to have an abortion is not for their own well-being or for the well-being or benefit of the unborn child, but for the benefit of the doctors and clinics that perform abortions. Because abortions are very lucrative.
Sometimes, in other instances pressure comes from a woman's family because of the gender of the child. Whatever the reason, the outcome is the same. The child is aborted and the child dies. And the side effects range from minor to fatal for the mother. Let's explore some of these untold side effects and consequences of abortion.
In general, abortionists fail to discuss the potential health concerns like perforation of the uterus, which is an accidental puncture of the uterus that can lead to other effects such as heavy vaginal bleeding, abdominal pain, nausea and rapid heart beat. Embolism which is an obstruction of pulmonary arteries frequently caused by detached fragments of clots from pelvic veins following an induced abortion that can lead to death. And, an increase in developing breast cancer. And we know there are life- threatening reproductive risks and infertility due to damage that can sometimes occur during the abortion procedure.
One such risk is the risk of ectopic pregnancy or tubal pregnancy. An ectopic pregnancy occurs when the fetus implants in areas other than the uterus. Such as in the fallopian tubes, cervix, ovaries, or the abdomen. Again, this complication can lead to death if not treated properly.
There's another possible risk known as placenta previa. This complication results from the placenta being attached to the wall of the uterus either close to or partially or fully covering the cervix. The danger here involves hemorrhaging or severe vaginal bleeding and possibly premature labor.
Of course we recognize that over time, with medical and technological advances, the physical consequences of abortion that are that are negative could be reduced. But, what about the emotional consequences and effects.
Abortion advocates often downplay the mental and emotional effects of abortion on women. In fact, one of the largest pro-abortion organizations in America claims that only one percent of women suffer from problematic mental issues after abortion. However, other research show this number to be closer to forty percent.
Deciding to abort a child has a vast psychological impact on many woman and there's growing concern among mental health professionals for the failure of our mental health system to recognize and address this issue. Abortionists tell us that the most immediate emotional reaction that a woman has to her abortion is a feeling of relief that the crisis is over and she can now move on with her life. Sure, a woman can certainly be persuaded to feel that way about the decision she's made. But, consider carefully some of the adverse emotional effects of abortion.
There are two different types of guilt and I would tell that person, based upon what I have heard and seen over the last 35 years, that their guilt is going to, I would say, eat their lunch for day in and day out and also at nighttime whenever they're going to have the dreams. And, they're going to be very condemning of themselves.
The aftermath of abortion leads many women into issues with depression, anger and guilt which are all identified as classic signs of post-abortion syndrome, a proposed subset of post-traumatic stress disorder. And, as a result, they can become disposed to various self-destructive tendencies such as eating disorders, drug and alcohol abuse, sexual promiscuity and suicidal thoughts. These are very serious psychological issues and they must be addressed appropriately and professionally.
The three basic emotions that you deal with happens to be hurt, fear, or insecurity, and anger. And whenever this person is sitting in front of me, this woman, then I am going to talk about the consequences of what could happen. Because bottled up anger causes suicidal depression. And it is real. They are going to experience this because one of the nine characteristics in the DSM4 for depression, number nine is suicidal ideations.
Now, in providing a complete look at the impact of abortion, it's only fair that we look at this from a spiritual perspective. Though often neglected, the spiritual aspect of a person's life is one of the most important aspects of any person's existence. You see, God has placed within each one of us a desire to have a relationship with Him. And God has put the guidelines for that relationship for entering into it and abiding in it, in the Bible. With proper focus in this area we are granted blessings beyond what we could ever imagine or deserve.
But, it's also important to remember that misguided decisions cause us to miss out on these blessings. There are some things, some actions that, if we do them, we disappoint God. And we need to make sure that these thoughts and these actions are avoided at all cost in order to keep a relationship with Him.
According to LifeNews.com, in November of 2009, in an interview on WFATV, abortion practitioner Curtis Boyd admitted that he knows he's killing an unborn child when he performs an abortion. What does God think about the killing of an innocent, unborn child?
God's inspired word, the Bible, is very clear on the fact that He views unborn children as humans. God told the prophet Jeremiah:
Jeremiah 1:5: Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.
God viewed Jeremiah as fully human with all the rights of any innocent human BEFORE he was born. And, despite the view of some that the contents of an expectant mother's womb is only a mass of tissue, God sees it differently. In fact, the same word from the original Greek language is used in scripture to reference both an unborn child and a newborn child.
Take a look at these two short verses:
Luke 1:41: And it came to pass, that, when Elisabeth heard the salutation of Mary, the babe leaped in her womb; and Elisabeth was filled with the Holy Ghost:
Luke 2:12: And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
In Luke 1:41, John the baptizer was referred to as a "babe" while he was still in his mother's womb. The word "babe" is translated from the Greek word "brephos" which refers to an infant, unborn, or even a young child. Interestingly, the same word was used to refer to the newly born Jesus as He lay in the manger wrapped in strips of cloth according to the angel's announcement to the shepherds in Luke 2:12.
So, from God's perspective there can be no misunderstanding of the terms. A child, whether unborn or born, represents an innocent human being. And when a person takes the life of another innocent human being, the Bible calls that murder. Now, where God stands on the issue of killing an innocent human becomes quite clear to us when we read Proverbs 6, verses 16 and 17:
Proverbs 6:16,17: These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood
Plain and simple, abortion is murder. And, committing murder or being an accomplice to murder is immoral and unacceptable in God's eyes. Ultimately, that is why God expects mothers to choose life for their children. Because of His compassion and love for unborn, innocent children. That's why the psalmist says:
Psalm 127:3: Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Fortunately, God's care and compassion doesn't stop with the unborn. The reality of abortion and the anguish and pain and suffering that it causes, is still very much a concern for God.
One of the most incredible attributes of God that truly sets Him apart is His compassion. The time, the opportunity, the guidance He offers in order for us to align ourselves with His will, rather than bringing on us the wrath we deserve is due to the fact that He longs to help us and does not want to see any suffer eternally. So, listen to what the inspired writer said about some people in the first century:
1 Corinthians 6:9-11: Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? ...And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.
So, despite their sinful choices and the lifestyles that ensued, a change of heart and obedience to Christ led to their freedom from sin and the removal of guilt from their consciences. So there is hope for the person who desires to do what is right. Thank God for His compassion.
Fortunately, His compassion doesn't stop with the unborn. Although very disappointed, God's care and compassion extend even to the mother who He knows is going through severe emotional and spiritual, and sometimes even physical anguish.
If you or someone you love is faced with an unplanned pregnancy, or if you're just considering the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy, I want to commend you for seeking help for this very important decision. And, I'd like to suggest that you weigh the options very carefully. You weigh the benefits and you weigh the adverse consequences. And you need to remember, as we all do, that nothing in this life, that we choose to do, is without consequences.
You've been truly blessed with the power and the privilege of giving life to another human being, an innocent child who deserves to have the opportunity to grow spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Who knows... who knows if that child that you choose to allow to give life to, might become a famous educator, a world-wide leader, might become a doctor or scientist who finds a cure for cancer. That that life rests in your hands. Remember, there are three options. You can choose to give birth to that child and raise the child. You can choose to give birth to the child and allow the child to be adopted. Or, you can have your child aborted.